Therapy Myths Exploded
Wanna know a secret? Some things that “everybody” knows are just myths:
- Myth: Serious problems can be solved only after intense therapy lasting a year or several years. Most problems can be solved only by carefully tracing them back to a client’s childhood and youth. It’s essential to gain a deep understanding of the root causes.
- Fact: If time and money were of no concern, then it might be interesting to probe your life history and upbringing. But there is no evidence that digging up ancient history actually helps solve people’s problems. The truth is that spending a short time building solutions is much more effective than devoting a long time discussing problems. A therapist need not understand all the factors that contributed to your current problems in order to help you to build solutions. If you saw a man drowning, would you jump in the water (to better understand his problem) or throw him a lifesaver (to help him solve his problem)? Does it matter how he ended up in the water? Focusing on solutions is faster, cheaper, and much more effective than focusing on problems. And it feels great while you’re doing it, so it’s self-motivating. When my clients have solved their problems, they know when they no longer need therapy, and that normally happens in just weeks or sometimes a few months. They may or may not understand how the problems originally developed, but they are so happy that they couldn’t care less.
- Myth: My partner and I need therapy because we can’t seem to communicate.
- Fact: In reality, people who have
been together more than a little while are very, very
good at communicating with each other. Their problem is
that sometimes they don’t pay enough attention to
what messages they are communicating.
When a woman asks, “Why do you want to stay up and
watch that dumb TV show so late?” she is
disappointed when she hears no reply. She may conclude
that she and her partner can’t seem to communicate.
But an experienced therapist knows that a very rich and
meaningful conversation may have just occurred.
Perhaps the woman was actually asking for sexual
intimacy, in a way she felt comfortable asking.
Maybe her partner understood her perfectly, and replied
(through silence), “I have no wish to make
love to you, after the way you let your mother
speak to me during dinner.” That’s just one
example; the messages may be quite different. But there
were messages hiding in the indirect
question and the silent response, and an experienced
therapist can recognize and shed light on them. The
couple will no longer talk past each other in the future.
A loving couple can easily solve their problems, once
they know what the issues really are.
- Myth: “Holistic” therapy
means that the therapist embraces and employs popular and
often faddish techniques like energy healing, therapeutic
touch, aromatherapy, reflexology, homeopathy, and so on.
Words like “chakras,” “chi,”
“energy,” and “meridians” are
used liberally in many of these approaches.
- Fact: It is good to keep an open mind, and a good therapist does not ignore evidence that shows the effectiveness of a technique. At Delray Holistic Therapy, all approaches that have been proven to be effective are taken seriously, and are used when appropriate. These approaches are sometimes called “Complementary” or “Alternative.“ However, Dr. Ransen never treats clients like guinea pigs; he uses only techniques that have been thoroughly tested on thousands of people, and have been proven to be safe, effective, and enduring. The word “holistic” is a reminder to our clients that we treat each client as a whole person, rather than looking narrowly at individual symptoms. Sometimes, holistic therapy involves the participation or support of family members and other people significant in the client’s life. For example, Dr. Ransen doesn’t treat Bipolar Depression. Instead, he treats people whose moods sometimes swing dramatically from unhappy and unfulfilling to exuberant and enthusiastic. He has written, “There are no Bipolars; just people who were given that label because a mental health provider decided that the client experienced dramatic mood swings.” Solutions can be found anywhere, often in the relationships clients have with others who are significant to them. That is holistic therapy!